THE Senate approval of the divorce bill has revived the great divide in the pros and cons of divorce.
Many are happy with it, and many others too are against it. And both camps have valid, legitimate and reasonable grounds for pushing on with their arguments.
Whether or not the measure will pass muster, and eventually signed by the President as a law, still remains to be seen.
But let us digress a little.
* * *
Many of the young and single girls nowadays are not into the “married life” mode.
Instead of getting married, they would rather have babies than husbands.
And the reasons are varied.
One reason advanced is they already foresee trouble ahead with their “husbands-to- be.”
How?
Again, for various reasons.
Many of their married friends are unhappy with their marriages, again, for various reasons. Let us deal later on with the “various reasons,” so let’s continue.
They have been barkadas for long period of time during their college days and thereafter. They shared stories and experiences both as professionals and as close friends. They have become intimate and they shared a lot of secrets too. And because of this sharing experience, they also learned about the lives, the happiness, the pain and all, of their barkadas.
When another married friend echoed the same sentiment, the initial impression of “troubles in marriage” somehow solidified the idea that getting into married life is indeed hard and difficult.
When the issue of happiness was brought in, ambivalence was usually the response.
“I am not sure kon happy ba ko, I am not sure kay lisod man pod kon buhian lang pod ni nako ang tanan kay komplikado man kaayo ang sitwasyon, labi na kay naa na mi anak,” was the reply.
* * *
The problem of the wife is not focused on the husband, per se. It could be because of the in-laws, it could be financial, it could be work-related both for the husband and the wife, it could be social or religious norms, and the like.
This is exacerbated by the reality that the man or the woman during the pre-marriage is not the same man or woman after the marriage. And the reason is because mogawas na man ang natural ug tinuod nga batasan, kay matangtang na man ang maskara.
Of course, when both the wife and the husband finally discover the “true” character of their significant other, then the period of adjustment starts.
Some can adjust easily, others face difficulty. And this ignites the first trouble.
* * *
The active intervention of the in-laws is problematic too.
One, it intrudes into the consciousness of both the husband and the wife. And most likely shape their mental faculty. Instead of fomenting independence, the opposite is encouraged.
Lisod kon mag-apil-apil lang gihapon ang mga ginikanan human sa kaminyoon sa ilang mga anak because this is usually the root cause of the fight between the husband and the wife.
Pero di man sab mahimo sa mga ginikanan nga pasagdan na lang nila ang ilang anak bisan kon minyo na kay kon huna-hunaon, nagpabilin man gihapon ang ilang pagka-ginikanan, ug nagpabilin man gihapon ang pagka-anak sa ilang anak nga minyo. Tiaw bay di man gani pabatogan og lamok sukad sa bata pa unya karon sayon-sayonon rag sumbag sa laing tawo?
Tiaw bay pasagdan na lang ang ilang anak nga pinangga nga magkalisod-lisod og pagkaon? And many other similar reasons.
* * *
This is just one facet of married life. And there are many others.
And the shared experiences among their married barkadas will eventually form a dislike to the feeling of experiencing the same.
Lisod man diay nang kinabuhing minyo. Daghan man diay kang atubangon nga problema. Maayo pa og di na lang magminyo, is usually the unspoken though.
Pero di man maayo nga di ka magminyo, unsaon na lang og matigulang na ka, kinsa may moatiman nimo, is the usual retort. Pwede man mosuhol lang ka pero lahi ra gyod kon anak gyod nimo ang nahabilin nga moatiman nimo kay mo-unong gyod na sila nimo.
So the issue now shifts from married life to the life in twilight years.
The ready answer nowadays is – kon mao man gani na ang problema, sayon ra pagsulbad ana. Mangita na lang ko og anak aron naay moatiman nako og matigulang na ko.
Unsaon man?
It could be thru natural or legal means.
Natural means is having a child by getting pregnant and delivering the child. Magpabuntis lang ko bahala og di ko magminyo, is the explanation. Having a child by legal means is by adoption. When the order of adoption is issued by the court, then the adopter becomes the lawful parent of the adoptee.
* * *
By going thru the process, the issue of divorce becomes passe.
Immaterial na ang divorce kay wa na may interes magpa-kasal ang kadaghanan sa mga babaye, pasagdi na lang ang mga lalaki.
But what will the passage of the law on divorce accomplish?
For one thing, it is expensive. This needs the services of a lawyer and that alone is certainly a big dent on the budget of the interested party.
In other words, getting a divorce is expensive, it is available only to those with money and ready and willing to spend the money.
Kadtong igo-igo ra ang kwarta, di na lang magpa-labad anang divorce. Buwag na lang deretso, bahala na si batman.
Ang resulta – kadtong mga kwartahan ra ang maka-agwanta sa divorce. In other words, ang issue sa divorce is pakwartahay lang.
