THE sight of twenty-eight couples standing before the altar of the Dumaguete Cathedral last June 30 was more than a beautiful ceremony. It was a powerful reminder that love, when nurtured with faith and commitment, remains one of life’s greatest blessings
The occasion was the First Kasalan ng DCCCO, where twenty-eight member-couples exchanged marriage vows in a ceremony made possible entirely through the generosity of DCCCO Multipurpose Cooperative. From documentary requirements and church fees to flowers, photographs, food, reception, and venue, every expense was shouldered by the cooperative. It was not merely a wedding event—it was an investment in families, because strong families build strong communities.
As Chairperson of the Board of Directors of DCCCO, and having been blessed with forty-three years of marriage with my wife, I was honored to share a few thoughts with the newlyweds. As I reflected on our own journey together, I realized that while every marriage has its unique story, certain timeless principles never change.
The first is simple: pray, plan, and decide together.
The moment a man and a woman exchange vows, they are no longer two individuals pursuing separate dreams. They become one. Scripture reminds us, “They are no longer two, but one flesh” (Matthew 19:6).
Being “one” means more than sharing a surname or a home. It means sharing a vision, a budget, responsibilities, victories, and even failures. In our marriage, my wife and I have always believed in having one plan and one direction. We have never lived separate financial lives or competing ambitions because before God, we are one family.
Yet unity becomes impossible when God is excluded.
Every important decision deserves prayer before discussion. Every disagreement deserves humility before argument. Every family needs Christ at its center because wisdom does not come merely from experience—it comes from God. As the Apostle James reminds us, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God.”
Within this unity, husband and wife have distinct but complementary roles.
The husband is called to lead—not with pride or domination—but with the selfless love Christ showed His Church. Leadership in marriage is never about control. It is about service. A wise husband listens carefully to his wife, values her insights, and seeks her counsel before making decisions.
I’ve often joked that the husband is the head while the wife is the heart. A body cannot function without either. And unlike monsters, healthy families only need one head—but that head must always listen to the heart.
The second lesson is equally important: care for one another every day.
Marriage is not built only during anniversaries or romantic occasions. It is built in ordinary days—in comforting each other after disappointment, celebrating small victories, forgiving mistakes, and simply being present.
Saint Paul beautifully captures this responsibility when he writes, “Bear one another’s burdens.” Carrying another person’s burdens is perhaps one of the purest expressions of love.
Of course, marriage also needs laughter. Over the years, I have collected two humorous rules for a happy marriage.
Rule No. 1: The wife is always right.
Rule No. 2: If the wife is wrong, kindly refer back to Rule No. 1.
And for maintaining peace at home —
When your wife is talking, listen. When your wife is quiet… perhaps that’s not the best time to start talking.
People laugh whenever I share these lines, but behind the humor lies genuine wisdom. Successful marriages are sustained not only by love but also by humility, patience, and the willingness to laugh at ourselves instead of always trying to win an argument.
Finally, grow together in faith and love.
Modern culture often tells us that love is merely an emotion—a feeling that comes and goes.
Christ teaches otherwise.
Feelings naturally rise and fall. They change with circumstances. Genuine love, however, is much deeper. Love is a decision.
It is choosing to forgive when pride wants revenge.
It is choosing kindness when irritation feels easier.
It is choosing faithfulness when life becomes difficult.
The clearest proof that love is a choice comes from Jesus Himself when He commanded us to “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).
No one can command feelings. But everyone can choose compassion. Everyone can choose forgiveness. Everyone can choose to seek another person’s good despite personal hurt.
That is precisely how God loves us. Despite our failures and countless sins, His love remains constant. It does not fluctuate with emotion. It endures. The same kind of steadfast love is what every marriage should strive for.
As I looked at those twenty-eight newly married couples, I found myself praying that their homes would become more than beautiful houses. May they become domestic churches—places where Christ is honored, children learn virtue, forgiveness is practiced, and guests experience genuine peace.
Marriage is never perfect because imperfect people enter it. But when two imperfect people choose every day to love as Christ loves, their marriage becomes something extraordinary.
After forty-three years with my wife, I have learned that the secret to a lasting marriage is not the absence of problems. It is the daily decision to face every problem together—with one heart, one purpose, and one God.
Perhaps that is the greatest wedding gift any couple can ever receive.
