THERE was a time when he was looked upon as a “model” of sorts for being a very upright person. Listening to him talk would instantly win a praise for being kind, generous and very loving. A taxi driver recalled that when he heard him speak during a national forum, he was all praises for his savvy at delivering the, ahem, “responsible” role of a father to his many children, and the “loving” husband of a very pretty wife.
That “loving” part was attributed to the way he treated his wife in public, and thru pisbok, his children. He was very galante with loving words and gestures, always heaping praises to his wife for “bringing out the best in me.” Nobody would imagine that behind that passionate façade lies a very ugly truth.
And the ugly truth was – they were into a wife-swapping and husband-swapping affair, but of an entirely different variety. Both of them suspected that the other was somehow involved in an extra-ahem-ahem but they were not willing to discover it, for one reason or another. For some time, they were content on just letting things happen, however and whenever it will be.
As in, que sera, sera kind of thing.
* * *
They were always together, in trips, tours here and abroad and on many speaking engagements. And on many instances, they were tapped as a husband-wife speaker team and they looked the part too.
Accordingly, daghan kuno ang ma-kilig kon magtutukanay sila in public and do the usual couple hug. There would always be a noisy kantyawan for a kiss, kiss but no Sir, not them.
They were just a sweet-looking couple and their audiences loved it.
It was thus a big surprise when rumor has it that they were heading into splitzville. Many were asking – how come, pagka-sweet and loving nila tan-awon?
Eventually, the rumor became a fact when he started his disappearing act, no more speeches, no more speaking engagements, no more meetings, no more calls or texts to the brods and sis in their small community. This means no more couple sightings too, no more going together to places, to speaking engagements, to meetings and all that.
It just happened – the couple sighting just stopped cold turkey.
No more sweetgums, as in.
Ano nangyareeee, was the common question from their NCR friends.
* * *
Turned out he was a long-suffering husband, he suffered for too long kuno as being a “battered” husband, always at the beck and call of the domineering wife kuno and he could not take it anymore kuno.
Surrender na daw siya kay di na siya happy sa iyang life, bahala na daw of magbulag sila kaysa mag-sigi siya og agwanta.
The wife, at first, was ecstatic, because that would mean freedom, she could now go out and do her “thing” with her uyab anytime her itch bites. Yes, anytime, and anywhere.
But later, she felt the pain when the adrenalin-rush of freedom quickly evaporated. Being separated, she could no longer enjoy the fun of being the “treasurer,” of being in full control of the conjugal money, of being in full control of her expenses, of getting free massages anytime she wanted, of being showered with lavish attention by a coterie of house workers, of being the señorita of the household, of eating what she wanted and anytime she wanted it and of being seen, and heard, and of being invited in many public gatherings.
She became just a face, no more sexy body because she was beginning to show her bulges in the wrong places.
This time around, na feel na niya nga lahi ra gyod diay kon kauban niya ang usa ka ilado nga tawo nga pirmi front-seat pirmi ug pirming dunay invite, apil na ang ka-lahi kon dunay kwarta pirmi iyang pitaka. Gibati na gyod niya nga on her own, she was just a nobody, wa nag ani motawag niya og “mam” nga mao ang iyang pirmi madungog sa nagkuyog pa siya sa iyang bana.
Thru her children, she tried to win their trust and confidence para duna siyay effective leverage para mag-uli siya sa iyang bana. But no Sir, he is not interested, because for the first time, he also felt freedom.
And for the first time, he felt that he could now look for another female company, another warm embrace sans the need to keep it secret. Feeling sa husband, ngano magtago-tago pa man nga nahibaw-an na man nga nagbulag na siya sa iyang asawa.
So first time he did, nguyab dayon siya in the belief that his siblings would just tolerate or ignore his sexual wanderings. But he got it wrong.
They were against his decision and they became his number 1 critic, gone are the days when he could easily wrangle anything from them, either favors or material things, just because he was sweet and loving father kunohay.
Naundang ang iyang ka-palangga sa iyang mga igsoon and his movement was always placed under microscopic scrutiny.
* * *
Who is he?
And why are we even interested in discussing his life story?
He remains anonymous because this is not an issue of personality, but an issue of one aspect of marital dynamics.
Sweetness is relative, and once separated, the losing one becomes an orphan.
