I WAS reading the morning papers last Friday when I read a very sad news. In that news item, it says that at least 44 Filipinos abroad are facing the death penalty for various cases, including possession of illegal drugs and murder, based on the records of the Department of Migrant Workers (DMW).
According to Sen. Joel Villanueva during the continuation of the Senate plenary deliberations on the proposed 2025 national budget, “There are 41 Filipinos on death row in Malaysia, two in Brunei and one in Saudi Arabia.”
This news saddened me so much. While I don’t judge people who go abroad to work or find jobs, it still distresses me so much when they leave their families to earn a living.
The notion of working abroad in search of better opportunities has become a reality for millions of parents around the globe. Whether it’s a mother leaving her children to work as a domestic helper in a foreign city, or a father seeking construction work in another country, the story is the same: parents go where the jobs are, and their families stay behind.
It’s a familiar sacrifice—a belief that the financial stability they can offer their children will ultimately lead to a better life. But as many of these parents will tell you, the cost of that sacrifice is often far higher than they anticipated.
The allure of earning more money abroad is undeniable. For many parents, it’s a pathway to giving their children the things they never had—better education, a more comfortable lifestyle, perhaps even the chance to break free from the cycle of poverty that has constrained their own lives.
For some, it’s not just about luxury, but basic survival—ensuring that their children have enough food to eat, that they can pay for school fees, and that they have a shot at a future free from hardship.
And yet, while the financial benefits of working abroad can be significant, the emotional cost is often overlooked.
The pain of missing key milestones—the first day of school, a birthday, a graduation—is something many parents have come to accept as an inevitable part of the deal. But what they don’t always realize is that the absence doesn’t just leave a gap in the family calendar; it creates a gap in the emotional bond between parent and child. And that’s something money can’t fix.
One of the most painful truths that parents who work abroad face is the growing emotional distance between themselves and their children. While they may be providing their families with the comforts of modern life—smartphones, new clothes, even vacations—the time spent together becomes less frequent, and the emotional connection weakens.
What begins as a sacrifice for the family’s future slowly transforms into an ever-widening chasm of absence.
Studies have shown that children crave not just the material things that money can buy, but the presence, attention, and love that parents provide. These things form the foundation of emotional well-being, resilience, and confidence.
But when parents are physically absent, children often face the challenge of learning how to cope with that void. And over time, they may come to resent the fact that their parent’s absence was a trade-off for material wealth. In their eyes, the gift of money comes at the expense of something far more precious—their parent’s love, time, and presence.
Take, for example, a mother who worked as a housekeeper in the Middle East for over five years. She left her two children behind in the Philippines, sending money every month to cover their school fees, rent, and food. Yet, when this mother returned home for the first time in years, her children—now teenagers—barely recognized her. They had grown accustomed to life without her, and the money she sent had provided them with physical comfort, but not the emotional connection they longed for.
For this mother, this was a painful wake-up call. The dreams she had of seeing her children’s faces light up when they received gifts or shared stories about their school days were eclipsed by a cold reality: her children didn’t need more things. They needed her.
Parents who work abroad often hope that their sacrifices will lead to a better future for their children. And in many ways, they do. Children of migrant workers tend to receive better educational opportunities, and their families are less likely to experience the harshness of poverty. But as many parents have come to realize, money cannot buy back the years lost.
The truth is that the emotional cost of working abroad is far greater than most parents anticipate. The absence doesn’t just mean missing milestones; it means missing the everyday moments—the little acts of love, the hugs, the conversations about school, the comforting words at the end of a long day. It means children growing up with a vague sense of love without the depth of connection that comes from truly knowing their parents.
And when those children grow older, they may find that all the material comforts in the world cannot make up for the emotional void left by their parents’ absence. They may have the latest gadgets, but they may also struggle with feelings of loneliness, rejection, or even anger.
They may have the best education, but they may also struggle to form meaningful relationships because they were never taught how to nurture them by the people who were supposed to love them unconditionally.
At the end of the day, it’s clear that the greatest gift parents can give their children is not money, but time. It’s not the money that will make their lives better—it’s the people who love them and the memories they create together.
No amount of wealth can replace that.
